Friday, January 6, 2017

Cynicism and Scars

The lessons you learned
From the times you got burned, and
the scars that they leave behind.
You find, has tainted your heart,
poisoned your mind and left you
unwilling to love.
Because, in naievity
you let your needs
lead you into vulnerability.
Looking back, it was stupidity.
As a result of the pain
you decide to refrain from opening up again.
But then, you begin to go numb inside.
You want to hide from the light.
It seems your plight is destined for solitude,
the hope you once knew obscured by
scars on your heart,
its hard to reach out ,
you have become plagued by doubt.
Disillusioned by compucation ,
where day by day you face frustration.
In the midst of life's complications,
you see the need for transformation.
So let me tell you about,
How to escape the cycle of doubt
that left you out, in the cold of this world.
For there is one who still holds you close,
Yes He chose you,while you were still astray,
off seeking your own way.
But in His mercy He would say, I see Your pain,
No sweet child, I am not ashamed of you.
The things you have been through, do not have to define you.
For even when you were in the midst of all your sin,
God saw the time fit, to send his only son
to pay the price for all you have done.
And He is the only one that can set you free,
restore your peace, and destiny.
So take heed,
through Jesus you can be who you were called to be.
And you won't be afraid to show your heart
because you know who holds it all.

This piece came from seeing a friend posting a lot of things where I could tell she was done with relationships. She had embraced cynicism, and was only willing to reach out in relationships she could get something from. This was from going through a series of relationships where she had put hope into people and been seriously disappointed, taken advantage of, and subsequently rejected. 
This cycle led to depression and a lot of trust issues. So I wrote this piece to say, I recognize the pain you are in, but it's not the end; you can still see healing. 

This piece also drew from me in that, any time I had an interest in a girl I would get rejected shortly, and had to learn the painfully hard way to let it go and be okay with being friends. As a result of this I embraced cynicism about relationships. I don't know that I am past this, nor that I can move past it alone.  So I recognize scars on the heart, and an unwillingness to reach out, I have lived it; But I can look to the one who is the author of my story, and say I don't know what you have for me, but I trust you and trust that it is good. 

- Stephen

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