War Zone

Pray for my city,

for this week it became a warzone.

For you it may be agendas and news,

But this place is my home.

I walk these streets, often alone.

The violence seen is not condoned.

The lives of my neighbors taken,

has left my city's people shaken.

It is our hour of need, we must awaken,

and see our God has not forsaken.

Heedless of ethnicity,

I ask you pray for my city.

For from this tragedy hope can arise

if we will lay down our pride,

and look to the One who paid the price.

For what will end this war, only love.

And that as which is from above.

For while still in the wrong we have done,

is when God chose to show His love.

I wrote this piece in the wake of the Downtown Dallas shooting last year, where the sniper was in a parking garage and started shooting police officers.  2 days before this happened I had been walking the street it was on, enjoying my day. Needless to say I was shaken up by this attack. But it was during this time that I realized that Dallas was no longer just the city I was going to school in; Dallas had become home to me. 

All the media spin on this tragedy served only to irritate me, either right or left. This was not an event to be seized for political influence, my neighbors were killed.  

Jeremiah 29:7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”

I may not be in exile here, but it was the city God brought me to , and the context of this verse was a setting for framing your life for the long haul (in Babylon) and setting up your life where it prospers the place you were sent to, to "pray and seek it's prosperity", not just treat it like you are passing through. Granted I am still a vagabond, but  Dallas is my home. 

Not all fish can climb

As you look around you'll find

not all fish can learn to climb.

It's not part of their design.

So could you tell me why,

when it comes to you and I,

we are told we are confined

in what success looks like?

The methods that we use,

at times become abuse,

that in time will reduce

those deemed anomalous

to a place of irrelevance.

But just because someone is different,

it does not make them insignificant.

Anxiety, depression, dyslexia, schizophrenic

these are all labels my friends have been given.

But if you would get to know them, you would find,

these labels don't define their lives .

Instead what you find is often times,

unbridled creativity,

because their non-conformity,

has given them a chance to be free.

So I ask you pause and think,

before you call it disability.

I really enjoyed this piece, at first I thought it sounded Dr.Seuss-esque. It started from reflection on a conversation I had about not being able to paint ( as I am a word person, my mind doesn't really use pictures, save for utilitarian purposes.) and the counter point to it being that everybody has some ability  in painting, even if you aren't good.  As I thought about it, Einstein's quote of "Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by how it climbs a tree, it will spend it's life thinking its a failure." seemed fitting. As I continued it morphed into something more akin to my stance of not discounting anybody. I find issue with a system that will disregard someone due to their inability to learn in a specific manner. I realized that most of my friends have been labeled with either a mental disorder, or a learning disability, but have moved past it, or learned how to handle it and succeed. Often times though there is a social stigma attached to being different, and in not understanding it we label it as "wrong" and effectively ostracize these people. But from what I have seen is that due to being different, they make natural leaders (as you can't be part of the crowd and lead them).  So, please be more understanding of people, you never know the genius you are discounting.     

Am I Icarus?

Am I Icarus?

Seeking to leave a world of indifference,

Or am I just being belligerent?

Seeking a way that is beyond my ability,

choosing to obstinately ignore the warning of those who went before me?

Destined to crash back into this world of my abhorring?

Or is it possible to escape his plight?

And avoid the ruin of his wretched flight,

to leave this place and reach new heights?

Am I Icarus?

Destined to be remembered for failure,

when I sallied forth for adventure?

Not content with the life most endure,

but assured that from life I could find more,

and in my delight, I would try for the stars like a kite.

Only to have it wrenched from my hands due to pride...

Am I Icarus,

whose route of escape only sealed his fate?

Whose wretched dreams, and meticulous schemes

are what ultimately shipwrecked his destiny?

And if this is me,

how can I be free?

This piece came from sitting around and listening to Jars of Clay. In their song "Worlds Apart" there is a line: "Soaring on the wings of selfish pride, I flew too high, and like Icarus I collide, with a world I tried so hard to leave behind."  This line got me thinking on how I tend to disdain what many hold to be living, the American dream. I see it as death on the inside, and living without real purpose.  So I decided to roll the dice against an uncertain future and try to follow what I saw as purposeful living. But seeing the warning of those who have shipwrecked dreams at times make me question the wisdom of my path. From this I came up with the question ," Am I Icarus?"

- Esteban 

Cynicism and Scars

The lessons you learned

From the times you got burned, and

the scars that they leave behind.

You find, has tainted your heart,

poisoned your mind and left you

unwilling to love.

Because, in naievity

you let your needs

lead you into vulnerability.

Looking back, it was stupidity.

As a result of the pain

you decide to refrain from opening up again.

But then, you begin to go numb inside.

You want to hide from the light.

It seems your plight is destined for solitude,

the hope you once knew obscured by

scars on your heart,

its hard to reach out ,

you have become plagued by doubt.

Disillusioned by compucation ,

where day by day you face frustration.

In the midst of life's complications,

you see the need for transformation.

So let me tell you about,

How to escape the cycle of doubt

that left you out, in the cold of this world.

For there is one who still holds you close,

Yes He chose you,while you were still astray,

off seeking your own way.

But in His mercy He would say, I see Your pain,

No sweet child, I am not ashamed of you.

The things you have been through, do not have to define you.

For even when you were in the midst of all your sin,

God saw the time fit, to send his only son

to pay the price for all you have done.

And He is the only one that can set you free,

restore your peace, and destiny.

So take heed,

through Jesus you can be who you were called to be.

And you won't be afraid to show your heart

because you know who holds it all.

This piece came from seeing a friend posting a lot of things where I could tell she was done with relationships. She had embraced cynicism, and was only willing to reach out in relationships she could get something from. This was from going through a series of relationships where she had put hope into people and been seriously disappointed, taken advantage of, and subsequently rejected. 

This cycle led to depression and a lot of trust issues. So I wrote this piece to say, I recognize the pain you are in, but it's not the end; you can still see healing. 

This piece also drew from me in that, any time I had an interest in a girl I would get rejected shortly, and had to learn the painfully hard way to let it go and be okay with being friends. As a result of this I embraced cynicism about relationships. I don't know that I am past this, nor that I can move past it alone.  So I recognize scars on the heart, and an unwillingness to reach out, I have lived it; But I can look to the one who is the author of my story, and say I don't know what you have for me, but I trust you and trust that it is good. 

- Stephen

Wilkommen!

I have started this blog more as a page for my poetry, where I can give authors notes on the inspiration behind what I wrote and the significance of chosen nomenclature at various points within my writing. The blog's name, Snippets of Conversations, is chosen as a lot of my inspiration comes from a conversation I had with a friend, or random stranger. There will be bits of the conversation playing in my head later in the day and I will think of implications, or profound truth from a phrase used, or just thinking, I could use that term in a poem.

Me, being a Bible school graduate, with intention of going to seminary for Master's work as soon as I can, you will probably find that theology leaks over to my writing most of the time. The reason for this is, my mind is usually a dark place; I tend to be melancholic, and lean toward depression often.
But, with that I know there is always hope, so I try to not end on a dark note.  We go through terrible things in this life, but that is not the end.  So I try to be real with a lot of what I write, while keeping in mind ultimate reality; That God cares for you and me, and will not abandon us.*


*1 : While we were still sinners ( actively rejecting God, and at enmity with Him)  He saw fit to send His only Son Jesus to take the punishment for our rebellion. Making the only way for us to be made right with God, through trust in Jesus